“I miss you” means everything and nothing, it is constant and honest. It is upbeat and simple, with wisps of longing and clouds of hope. You miss people you used to love, people you used to want, people you used to need. But most of the time the missing is all that’s left, and that’s OK, there’s nothing else you’d change.

The three words that mean the most aren’t “I love you”, with its history of being an accomplice to lies, with its bad reputation as a myth. What is “I love you” but the easy way out, the secret weapon revealed at the ends of long-drawn battles between desperation and despair? “I love you” is what you say when you run out of valid arguments but decide to keep fighting anyway. “I love you” is what you use when you want to appear to be someone you’re not. These are powerful words. “I love you” has been the pillar of friendships, and their causes for downfall. “I love you” is where you build the your trust, only to see it crumble down when these words are said to someone else. “I love you” is what you use when you want to be unfair, when you want to deliberately hurt. “I love you” throws the whole equation in chaos, unbalances the seesaw. It implies the loss of reason and pride, but is used to manipulate, to blackmail, leaving behind disillusionment and disappointment.

The three words that mean the most aren’t “I want you”, with its blatant inconsideration, its implications of a need. “I want you” is what spoiled brats say, it’s what selfish bitches say, it’s what horny boys say. “I want you” is harsh, said through clenched teeth, said with wild eyes. “I want you” is a physical sentence, the mix of skin against a number of factors: skin on skin, fingernail on skin, teeth on skin. It is violent and rapid, a whirlwind of emotion, an explosion of saliva and other bodily fluids. These are words that have no origin or instincts; they are triggered by smell, by touch, by the look of rawness in another person’s eyes. These are words that signal the coming of a storm, and like most storms, they wreak havoc and then depart, leaving behind ruins and wounds.

The three words that mean the most aren’t “I need you”, with its childish, clingy implications, its sad, pathetic grievances. “I need you” leaves you open, blinding you to yourself, eradicating all traces of self-respect. “I need you” is the dying breath of a failed relationship. It is the battle cry of an overpowered suitor. These words signal the clinging to memories that are either long gone, or never were. These words bypass true necessity to make fools out of the people. These are not words to be used by all; it takes the strongest persons to relay this message correctly. Otherwise you only reveal yourself as an empty shell craving for something, anything, to fill it. But then, the strongest persons never have the need to say these words. It’s the irony of life. These words are like taking a knife to your throat and piercing your skin gently, leaving behind a trail of blood too thin for anyone to see, but painful enough for you to feel.

The three words that mean the most, I think, the ones that really hit the mark, and often in the most unexpected of ways, is “I miss you”. This is the sentence that sends the message right home. Because what other message is there? Nothing else, except exactly just that, “I miss you”, and everything else is pulled along into it, like a chain reaction. Unlike “I love you” and the lies that go along with it, “I miss you” is honest and sincere, you only say it when you mean it, and you don’t have to mean it in a big way to really mean it. Unlike “I want you” and its expectations, “I miss you” offers all it has, and waits for nothing in return. Unlike “I need you” and its desperate whines, “I miss you” stands on its own, a whole entity in just three words, devoid of arms that cling to you for life.

“I miss you” means everything and nothing, it is constant and honest. It is upbeat and simple, with wisps of longing and clouds of hope. You miss people you love, people you want, people you need. But most of the time the missing is all that’s left, and that’s OK, there’s nothing else you’d change. The missing implies a past that remains in its rightful place. Or it implies the reality and possibilities of the present. And a hope for a future. It is look forward to and love and lust and peace all at the same time. Some people say that when they met that person, it was like “coming home”. And missing is this manifestation of home-sickness, the way people return to their homelands to die, the way all the comfort the world has to offer is nothing compared to the feeling of being in someone’s arms.

And that’s why I miss you, because I’m here and you’re there, and because every time I think about you, that’s all that I think. I miss you, I miss you, I miss you, and the world turns for both of us, and I can’t wait until i come home.

for most people, friendship is the beginning of something --- the foundation for a much deeper relationship.

too bad for some, its a borderline.. a limit.

He is the only guy I ever really wrote about. Sure, I could've written about others way back but I didn't understand things too much then, so I figured that doesn't count. Then again, I still don't understand a lot of things up to now, as far as matters of the heart are concerned. Like why I keep on remembering the way he sounds on the phone, or the way he laughs over my jokes, or the way he sings those songs with me. Why the hell do I want to see him again, and why do I feel bad when i don't... and why after all these months of distracting myself, it still boils down to him and the way he makes me feel... ridiculously giddy.

And I hate it. Simply because I hate feeling ridiculously giddy over such trivial things, things that supposedly have nothing to do with me. I hate knowing that it is pointless to let my little heart get the best of me, and still fall for him anyway. And I hate flushing him out of my system over and over again, and still feel so much. I hate reminscing nonsense incidents I've blown up all by myself, knowing he won't even remember them. I hate waiting for someone who's never going to come along. Heck, I almost hate him. Worse, I know I can't.

But I've stopped writing about him already. It can be pretty tiring to think about someone so much, sometimes. And it can be much more tiring to write it down and reread it every night. But every once in a while, it's nice to look back, literally leaf through the chapters of my life and laugh a little, cry a little. Last night was one of those nights, and i chanced upon my last entry about him. It was two months ago... It read: maybe it's because i found out that he liked someone else. Or maybe it's because i got tired of hoping against hope: that he'd feel for me the way i feel for him. maybe there isn't any reason at all. Maybe it's over simply because it is. Or it could've been just another phase of my life... the day I stepped out of a mature crush and stopped being a silly little kid at the same time.

And I'll probably look back to this someday and laugh my head off and wonder how I ever got so wound up over some guy I love who happens to love someone else. and another one else. and somebody else. I always wonder why he comes back everytime that someone else dropped him. I should be pretty used to it by then, shouldn't I? but for now, I guess i'll have to deal with it the only way I know how. Cry a little then maybe laugh at myself a little, and wonder why in the world it couldn't be me, for once.

im tired..

im weak..

im sorry..

i failed.

again.

all felt at one time.

all i know now is to cry.

atleast no one is else is hurt that way.

although

id still stay..

id still look..

id still live..

i have to.

Soon

i will smile with honesty,

love one more time,

and be happy.. again.

but

for now, i rest my heart.

My brain works in mysterious ways....

I noticed that you can classify the kind of drunk that a person becomes when they drink too much...

Here they are:

Sloppy Drunks - This one isn't hard to spot. They stumble around, bump into things, people...sometimes even break things.

Visitor Drunks - They try to blend in to the area but are obviously a bit uncomfortable or unsure of their surroundings. They are usually surrounded by other people with pure intentions on getting them drunk since after all they are a “guest”. They often say they're a-okay when in fact you can notice that they arent. chinky eyes and crimson face doesnt really seem "okay".

Ugly to Hot Drunks – All of sudden this ugly person infront of you has transformed into hooooot shit. Amazing! and they assume everyone is either into them, wants drink with them or dance with them and yes even have sex them...

Undercover Whore Drunks – This applies to both men and women. all of a sudden Mr/Ms Innocent is whoring themselves out - all in the name of drunken state. You can’t take the whore outta ya...  halleeejjuuuah!

Social Butterfly Drunks - These people are naturally sociable...but when they are drunk their natural demeanor is emphasized exponentially. Sometimes these people come to you and get themselves into very odd situations then over-react to something and retreat to find another person (usually another social butterfly drunk) who they can discuss with the injustice that just went on.

Confrontational Drunks - These people like to congregate with one another in an area where attention can be randomly drawn towards them from an over-emphasized group, and then mock physical contact. They will "talk shit" up to the point of ensuing violence relatively easily when really drunk.

Cocky Drunks - They are the ones who usually brags about how rich they are, how many girls they had sex with, how talented they seem to be, how cool they are because they have this or they're dating this, etc. and not only that...they challenge other people's cockiness. in tagalog, "nagpapataasan ng ihi. kasi ayaw magpatalo."

Hugsy-Kissy Drunks – They cling on you like leech...they're with you wherever you go. hugs you, kiss you and all of a sudden being touchy-feely which was not their usual self when they're not drunk. and when to try to leave them, they pour their hearts out like drama-chine and cries, "i need you. dont leave me!"

I Love You Drunks – They LOVE YOU. Enough said. And they repeat it times 10.

I Hate You Drunks – They HATE YOU. They don’t really know why - they just do.

Ballsy Drunks – Getting drunk for some people means that they grows balls...by this I mean all of a sudden they have the balls to tell you what’s on their minds. Or for some guys and girls, what they really feel.

Texting Drunks – They shower you with millions of misspelled drunken texts.

Sickly Drunks - These are like sick people because you attend to their whim every now and then. because they are drunk, they either run, scream, laugh their asses off, do silly things...then suddenly their head aches, their tummy aches, their whole body aches. which leads them to vomit eveywhere they go.

Sleepy Drunks – They simply zoink out...passing out anywhere and anyplace. and waking up not knowing where they are, how'd they got home and what happened last night. what can I say, not everyone can hang! muahahahah

Horny Drunks - They seem to know all about getting horny simply because you are DRUNK...ususally leads to one night stands. tsk tsk tsk.

you know some more classificatons? message me! hehehe.